We don't need no education

It was the anthem of the 80s. Those of us who graduated between 1980 and 1984, referred to as "Generation X" were probably the first group of rebellious students since the 60s. Pink Floyd hit the nail on the head as most of us believed we were smarter than the average bear and didn't need no eduction.

Young and stupid. That's what we were. But we didn't care. We had a song that said so.

Fast forward many years later when Gen X started having kids. Education became more and more important as anything less than a Bachelor's degree would find you asking if "you'd like fries with that"?

Now, even farther down the road, a Bachelor's degree today will barely get you an entry level job at some piss ant firm for a tad above minimum wage. The song still resonates in our heads and brings back those memories of rebellion. Having fun was more important than AP homework and the music scene was seeing a revival like never before. But now we're putting education at the forefront for our children since the school masters decided to take back the authority we flippantly blew off.

As I reconnect with more and more of my friends I find a lot of them returning to school to finish their education or going on to get their Master's degree. After that they're almost guaranteed to get their own cubicle.

The first thing I noticed when I arrived in North Carolina was how important education was. TONS of money is dumped into the school systems here where California wasn't even giving students pencils yet requiring them to take ridiculous exams that even the teachers didn't agree with. Well without a pencil, how the fuck were the kids supposed to take the test? All the school supplies were put on the backs of their parents. And the sad thing is, it wasn't limited to just pencils. You pretty much had to outfit your child with everything they needed in their arsenal to even have a shot at succeeding. I'm not sure where giant glue sticks and dry erase markers fit into the equation since the teacher is usually the one writing on the board. Makes you wonder if you're subsidizing the teacher as well or if they're simply having your children sniff the pens when things get a little rowdy.

Idiots.

Here in NC, at least in the High Schools, each child receives a laptop to use in the classroom. The transportation system is absolutely amazing. They have a fleet of no less than 100 buses carting students to and from school where in California they had one bus that had no brakes, no lights, a door that would stick shut and had only 3 bus stops for the entire city requiring your kid to walk 4 miles to the bus when the school wasn't more than 2 miles away. Plus, the only people they could interest in being employed as a bus driver were usually the ones that only had to be on some sort of registry list.

There were a lot of things, though, that really pissed me off when we began to register our two boys for school here. First off they had a dress code. A DRESS CODE! I remember going to work in jeans, shorts, t-shirts, athletic shoes and whatever you could dig out of the hamper at 3 in the morning even if it didn't match. You couldn't see in the dark anyway so what did it matter? But a few years back the FAA decided to impose a dress code that upset 15,000 people because we were supposed to look presentable for the public and instill confidence in the air traffic system.

What made them think that if I wore a collared shirt that I was less likely to slam your ass into a mountain than if I was wearing a Van Halen tour shirt? Of all the people on the planet you want to be comfortable it's people in the air traffic business. The more comfortable they were, the more relaxed they were. The more relaxed they were the more they paid attention to their job as opposed to obsessing over their feet because they were wearing the "cruel shoes".

The funny part was we worked in a cave, visitors weren't allowed in the building and out on our own time, no one knew what we did for a living anyway. It was ludicrous. Needless to say the word "Dress Code" leaves a very sour taste in my mouth. So when I found out my kids had a dress code for school I got pissed.

What the hell? I can understand private schools but the public schools? Even in the poverty stricken areas that could barely afford thrift store clothing were now forced to buy certain colors for their students. I completely disagreed with the whole concept but I also needed my kids in school so I had to succumb to them suffering through the same shit I did.

In California, though, the attitude was "anything goes". As long as the girls didn't wear tight shorts giving young boys those peaks at the camel toe and tube tops that squished their boobs down to their belly button everything else was fair game.

After all, back in the day we were decked out in parachute pants, neon colors, leg warmers, lace, Dolphin shorts and belly shirts. The closest anyone got to seeing skin was if a girl was wearing one of those belly shirts and had a top locker. When she reached up to the top of the locker, the bottoms of the "girls" would be exposed for a short period of time. A nice treat but that was about it.

As my kids entered school in Brentwood there wasn't any organized transportation system. Parents were left to pick up their kids when school let out. The area where the kids came out was a small street that at 2PM looked like a Grateful Dead concert. Soccer Mom's facing all kinds of directions, double parked like they were passing joints between cars and refused to move until little Johnny waddled 10 minutes to the car that inevitably gridlocked the entire street. But the Moms didn't give a shit. They were stoned, Floyd was cranked and they just sat there tripping out in their minivan that was parked in the most random of positions.

Bitches.

It took me awhile to figure out how and where to park so I could navigate that shit but it was still frustrating as hell. Everyday I thought some kid was going to get t-boned by some Durango who was in a race to get to Safeway before everyone else took off.

Here, however, in NC, it's very structured and organized. The first day of school, I escorted Alex to his class. We weren't in the hallway 90 seconds before he got busted for not having his shirt tucked in and he was lacking a belt. You've GOT to be kidding me. As I said before, I was going to give that freakin' hall monitor a big old slap but Alex complied and I remember feeling really bad for him.

When I picked Alex up after school I avoided that ridiculous roundabout and parked on the street. Moments later, Alex walks up to the car escorted by some lady who lectured me about parking on the street and how unsafe it was for Alex to come out to the car this way. I had to use the roundabout or pick him up in a helicopter.

Shitheads.

So the next day I got in the massive line of cars and waited my turn to get through the circle to pick up my kid. Surprisingly it went very quickly. The school actually had it down to a science. It was safe, convenient and didn't involve an altered state of mind to retrieve your child. All of a sudden I began to appreciate the organization the school offered and within weeks I was sold on the concept.

Then I had another revelation I never thought I'd have. I seemed to appreciate the dress code. Why? Because the 5th graders have two colors of shirts they can wear. The 6th graders also have two colors to choose from but the colors were different. What stood out was when you saw a student walk through the hall or out in the courtyard you could immediately tell what grade they were in by the color of their shirt and what hallway they should be walking through. Now that started to make sense to me.

So maybe North Carolina really does know what it's doing when it comes to eduction. After all, they're trying real hard to dilute the gene pool here so they've really stepped up their program. Is it going to make my kid smarter? Probably not. Will he eventually learn to appreciate looking nice? No. He lives in Tie Dye (good boy) outside of school and when they're on their own time they're allowed to express themselves and not have to follow the rules imposed upon them the 5 days a week when present in their institution.

On the weekends, though, they're welcome to cruise the mall in their tube tops, tight short shorts and sport their camel toes should they desire to do so. The boys still wear their pants down below their ass and I'm sure the day is coming where they're just going to give up on pants all together. What's the point? The only way to really show off your boxers is to just let it all hang out. I'm not sure how the girls would appreciate the guys "boys" swaying back and forth but since the hormones are running rampant I don't think either sex gives a shit. Free walking porn. It's a teenagers dream.

Needless to say the educations systems between the two states are in stark contrast. And as much as I support individualism and expression, I suppose there's something to be said for structure. I still firmly believe clothes don't make a person but I understand the school's concept.

To be honest, I'm the one who feels stupid and out of place when I walk to the office in my tank-top, brandishing my tattoos and try to hold a serious, parental discussion.

Then again, I'm not the one who needs no education.