You Can't Speak

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You can still even. 3579; Oh look you can odd too. Literally. You're capable of it; It's not that difficult....if you need to go back to kindergarten to help you out I'm sure it can be arranged...
I will never understand why people think an adequate response to disbelief is: "I can't even." It's such a ridiculously air-headed expression that I question what was so difficult about saying, "I don't believe it." At least that's a complete thought that doesn't directly challenege your own intellectual capacity.
Worse than the already irritating inability to even is the thrown in, "I LITERALLY cannot even." Well, math class must have been a real grueling task for you; I hope you were at least able to odd.
I'll never fully apprehend why this term came into use and why people think it's a good idea to circulate it, not just daily, but minutely. It has become the default response to every minor shock.
Dropped your pencil. Can't even.
Teacher asks for homework. Out of luck, cause apparently you can't even.
You have five minutes to get to class. How have you survived, because you can't even.
It's a real verbal epidemic that today's lingo has become so lazy and faulty it halts in meaningless expressions of surprise. The first time I heard someone use this phrase, I waited in pending silence for what it was this person could no longer do. I remember asking my friend one time what it was specifically that she could not even attempt and her useless reply was, "I just can't even." That's descriptive. Thanks I completely grasp what has stumped you and your level of intrigue now.
The difficulty of finishing a thought and profusely expressing the exact means of what has tripped you up must have entered computer mode if everyone's best rebuttal to news is that they can't even. I'd like to know under what circumstances they can even, and if there's ever a point where they've lost the ability to odd as well. Once both of those are gone will people turn to I can't zero?